


Don't Waste The Years You're Given

by ro_mm_ck



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-23
Updated: 2007-08-23
Packaged: 2017-10-11 18:56:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ro_mm_ck/pseuds/ro_mm_ck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus and Lily take a walk together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Waste The Years You're Given

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pesha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pesha/gifts).



> I don't write angst... I swear I don't... but this made me sad and I don't know where it came from. Yeah, and it was supposed to be Sirius/James and I screwed up in my brain. Yeesh. Thanks to zeta0497, ifuwereafrog, and ficklevillain for the quick betas.

"It's not anything I can rightly explain," Remus told Lily as they walked around the lake.

"Well, give it a try because, I must admit, the thought is quite interesting," she teased.

Remus glared at her for a moment before sighing. He wasn't quite sure how to come at this particular subject, especially with his best mate's girlfriend. It didn't matter that they'd graduated from Hogwarts, he still felt like a child here.

"Well, why don't you tell me where it started if you can't explain why it's happened," she asked when he didn't respond.

"Here, actually," he admitted, pointing back to the castle behind them.

"Oh really?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Not like that, Lily," he admonished. "I meant the feelings started here, not the actions."

"Sure," she taunted.

"You really are the most amazingly annoying woman," he said exasperatedly. "Do you want to hear this or not?"

Lily zipped her lips closed and grinned at him. She'd known about most of what happened but was very curious to find out how it had started. Remus was a very private man and it was surprising, this sudden need to share.

"During sixth year I started to notice things about Sirius, things a friend isn't supposed to care about. I was the quietest of us anyway, but I stopped talking all together for a while there because I liked the sound of his voice. At the end of the term I realized why I felt so..." he trailed off, looking out at the water.

"So?" Lily prodded.

"I felt like the time we were together, especially when we were alone... it was sacred. It was as if someone hit a time machine and it suspended us inside while the rest of the world spun around us."

Lily smiled as Remus relived something that sounded wonderful but she knew to be torturous for him. It had been a hard time for him and she remembered thinking there was something going on behind that quiet exterior. They'd not been close during those years so she'd not felt comfortable asking about it.

"He was always going 'round with every girl who struck his fancy and James and I were the friends he told about all of them. I had to sit and listen to everything he did with every person who was not me," he explained.

"Lord!" she exclaimed. "That must have been awful."

"It's easier to think about now." His smile was bittersweet but his eyes sparkled with memories. It _had_ been awful at the time. He couldn't understand what he was feeling and the closer it got to a full moon the harder it was not to rip people to shreds.

"You know how Sirius and James were then," he said, nodding at her.

"Terrible."

"Pretty much."

"Right, so when did you just _know_ , then?" she asked, through being the patient one. Lily was the most composed of their group of friends, but it wasn't saying much when you considered her competition.

"It was just before a full moon," he admitted, blowing his fringe up off his face. Leaning up against a tree, he looked at her and had to smile as she tried to wait quietly. "We were down in the hall for dinner and he was devouring the steak and kidney pie. Something about the way he ate, unconcerned that he was getting flakes of crust all over the front of him. I don't know how to explain it, but it was that moment."

"Food? Food is what did it to you?" She looked at him in wonder and tilted her head at him.

"All of that meat," he teased, wriggling his eyebrows at her.

"You're sick," she said, slapping his arm. "Still hurt to talk about even after... everything?"

"Sirius may be intelligent but he was right stupid when it came to all of that." Remus sighed. It shouldn't hurt to think about the beginnings of the love he held for Sirius, but he had a suspicion that it always would. Feelings bottled up for fear of losing his best friend had changed him into the man he'd become though he couldn't help but wonder if they would have had more time together if Sirius had figured things out sooner.

"Maybe things aren't as bad as you think," she said, seeming to read his mind.

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking at her with hope in his eyes.

Red strands of hair became wisps of smoky transparence. Her eyes still smiled but he could see the waves of the water sparkling through them. She lifted a hand to touch his face but stopped only inches from it.

"You'll find him again, Remus," she promised, pulling her hand back to her body and placing it over her heart. "This time, don't waste the years you're given."

Waking with a start as a dungbomb went off in the hallway, Remus quickly brushed the tears off his face, grabbed his wand off his bedside table, and rushed to see who had done it. Frowning at Peeves, he closed the door behind him and sank down to the floor. For moments he'd been young. For minutes he'd been hopeful. For that short time he'd been with his friend again, been with himself again. And, at this instant, all that was left was an aging man who was alone... again.


End file.
